Agony and Anger
by reminiscent-afterthought
Summary: Riverwind was in agony, and yet, Tanis Half-Elven could not pretend to understand him.


**A/N:** Written for the Diversity Challenge, B83 - write a fic that explores death. This is set in after Goldenmoon's "death" in Dragons of Autumn Twilight – actually the only Dragonlance book I've read. Funny story; I borrowed it from the library for funsies and it vanished off the records afterwards, so now it's mine to keep. :D Downside is they've also lost the rest of the series so I need to find them at another library…

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**Agony and Anger**

Riverwind was in agony, and yet, Tanis Half-Elven could not pretend to understand him.

It wasn't Goldenmoon's death he could not grasp. He had seen much death. And been affected by them. As this one tore at his heart like the little claws of bats. No. He saw the tragedy. He understood it. By some difficulty he managed to tear his eyes away and bark orders, get them away from the danger that would otherwise kill them all.

It was Riverwind's ability to stay there and die that baffled him. Especially after Goldenmoon had been so adamant he lived.

He could feel the others' eyes on him. Speaking silently. Judging. Trying to make him understand.

The elven part of his heritage made it impossible for him to understand.

How someone could throw away such a sacred gift: their life. How someone could want to do so.

Honour. Shame. Such things could be regained. Rectified. Lives could not be brought back. Or if there existed such a magic, it was beyond his reach. And he was more than happy to leave it like that. Raistlin was a living testament as to what happened to one who dabbed too deeply into such magic. Raistlin he respected, but he did not desire to become.

Riverwind he usually respected as well, but not right then.

But rash words had few places and this was not one of them. Haste was needed. Haste, and some conviction. To live. To see life. To fulfil Goldenmoon's wish that he continue on: the last of their people, and the man she loved.

Because that was the trust that had passed between them when Goldenmoon had looked towards him. When Goldenmoon had told him to keep Riverwind back, to look after him. The reason he had not stopped Goldemoon despite knowing the consequences of her sacrifice.

Because it had, then, been the only way the rest of them could survive.

And the weight they carried…the wishes of many, the fates of many, and their own futures, were reasons they must.

If they all died, no-one would know. No-one would inherit. No-one would take on the past and become stronger…

Which was a hypocritical thing to think, considering how he had spent the last five years searching for an elusive fragment of his own past.

But those were not thoughts for right then. The cavern was creaking. Falling apart. And while the others had gotten clear, he and Riverwind were still there. Still in danger.

And Tanis had to be very careful with his words.

Finally, he chose to just call to the other. 'Riverwind!'

The man did not move. His back was statuette against the dust that began to pour. The creaking grew louder. Soon, the roof would collapse.

Soon, they would be crushed.

He pushed the fear down. By his own logic, Riverwind's life was more important than his own. That was Goldenmoon's trust. And his reasoning. And the human part of him wanted to leave no-one else behind. His heart cried at one loss. He did not want it to weep without pause at another they could avoid.

At least, the elven part of him said the man would see sense.

The human part of him, the one Sturm had appealed to with his parting gaze, was not so sure.

And Riverwind's words, perhaps made him less sure.

'I will not leave.'

But more convicted as well.

'Goldenmoon would not want you to die.'

Perhaps the one name that would reach him. The one name that would cause him to turn. To continue on.

Tanis remembered Goldenmoon. Goldenmoon when Riverwind had hovered near death due to this very dragon. Goldenmoon, wild and beautiful and fierce and, they'd feared, somewhat unhinged after hearing of the, then, near certain tragedy. Riverwind was now caught in that veil. Caught and without a hope of acting to save her – because Goldenmoon was nothing more than ash.

So instead he would join her.

Tanis closed his eyes, then opened them again. He still opposed it. His elven half. His human half. He disagreed. He opposed.

He couldn't bear to start screaming at Riverwind when he wore that sort of expression on him.

'Let's go together,' he said, finally, over the creaking of the cavern roof.

'Go without me,' the man returned, resolutely facing the place where Goldenmoon had turned to ash.

'I won't leave you behind,' was Tanis' response.

And he could only hope he could live up to that…and not die in the process.

Silence ensured, save the creaking cavern, that eventually gave in and fell. Stone slabs that fell at the edges. That would slowly creep inwards. Riverwind turned. Tanis' heart leapt; perhaps he had seen sense after all…

But no. It was that same expression his body wore in his face.

And then a darkness quick and deep took over him.


End file.
